Heard on the golf course recently: “Believers have some questions and struggles that unbelievers don’t have.” Yes, that’s true. People who believe in Jesus think about questions such as, If God is good, how could this have happened? Where was Jesus the Healer, when my child was sick? People who don’t believe in God at all, don’t ask these questions. In fact, asking a question to God is a statement of faith. If you didn’t believe that He is you wouldn’t be thinking about Him or communicating with Him!

I have to qualify my statement above. A friend recently said that before he came to Christ, he was shaking his fist at God, the God he didn’t believe in, because of a serious loss. I know grief is a cross roads for those who have never believed, as it is for people of faith too. I believe God was already at work in this man’s heart to make Himself known. So this man in his grief began to see a glimpse of God’s presence and character.

Grieving believers usually have questions. Other biblical heroes have asked questions too:
• John the Baptist asked Jesus – Are You the One who was coming? (Luke 7:18ff)
• Job asked – What did I ever do to deserve this (these losses)? (Job 7:17-21 is but one example)
• Jesus asked – Please can I get out of this plan!? Can I do something else instead? (Luke 22:39-44)
• David penned psalms with moans such as: (How long? Psalm 13; and Why have you forsaken [abandoned] me? Psalm 22)
• Moses asked – Why did you make me lead these people!? They complain and make demands all the time! (After the scenes from Exodus 15:24 and 16:2-11, Moses reacts in 17:2b-4)

All these questions revolve around God’s character, power, intent and involvement in our lives.
• His character is Love and Light.
• His power is revealed in Creation. He made it all and sustains it even now.
• His intent for us is that we become more like His Son. That starts with forgiveness and adoption, and He even paid the highest price for that adoption.
• He is still every day and every moment involved with us because His Spirit is with us.

As I read the Scriptures, I conclude we are invited to ask all our questions. Nothing is off limits or too challenging or too dumb to ask. Nothing can offend Him. He will respond eventually, though He doesn’t promise to answer the question directly. But He often does come closer to the one asking, and reveals something deeper about Himself to us.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power… to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,.. Ephesians 3:16-18

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At HVMI recently, we hosted a concert with Michael Card. What a wonderful, worshipful night of music and encouragement! I loved it.

I had an opportunity to describe to him how much I love interacting with you. I am honored to hear your stories. I hope that something I have said sometime has been beneficial to you. I pray for you and have the names of your children on my list to greet when I get to heaven.

When I described BASIS to Michael Card, he told me a little story too. He has a nephew who died of cancer at the age of 18. Before that, the nephew told his uncle that he wanted to learn to play the guitar. So Michael Card, a world renowned musician, bought a guitar, not the best in the world, but adequate for a beginner. They did share some lessons together before the young man died.

It is that guitar the Michael Card travels with and uses in concert. Why does he travel with a guitar that’s not the best in the world? Because it is attached to his nephew, a precious person loved by his uncle. It is memorial to that life.

You might have something of your child’s that is often, or even always, with you. Do you wear his/her tee shirt to bed? Have you made a quilt or pillow of some of his/her clothing? Did you take a tee shirt or bathrobe and make a stuffed animal? Do you keep their trophies around the living room? Do you wear her jewelry? Have you continued collecting her favorite things? Planted her favorite flowers in the garden? I know a man who even changed his career to continue some of the work his son had started.

What sort of memorials or activities have you incorporated into your life for the love and memory of your child? Each tribute will be unique because you and your child are both unique and your relationship was unique. Each loss is unique. But your idea might help another parent imagine what they might want to do for the love and memories of their child. If some of you send your ideas, I’ll collect them and post them here in a few weeks.

The memories of your child are good things for which we should give thanks. Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow. Because there were blessings during your child’s life.

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Another thought from the Philadelphia Museum of Art exhibit – Rembrandt and the Face of Jesus: the Face of Jesus is full of compassion and human emotion.

Historically, artists before Rembrandt painted Jesus with a holy expression in a sort of non-human, even flat, representation. A caricature. Rembrandt changed things. He painted in the early days of the Reformation, when everything about the practice of Christianity was changing. There was talk about the priesthood of all believers, in other words, each of us can pray directly without the intermediary of another human. The Scriptures were being printed (thanks to Mr. Gutenberg and the new moveable-type printing press) and getting into the hands of everyman. Christianity was coming out of the church hierarchy and into the population in general. It was the right time for people to see Jesus as “real” in a new way.

Rembrandt lived in a Jewish neighborhood. I picture him looking at historical paintings of Christ and thinking to himself: that Jesus doesn’t look like my Jewish neighbors! So he painted Jesus looking more like a flesh and blood Jewish man. Which, of course, He was.

And so it is for us now. Jesus is more real than we ever imagined. He has truly lived a real human life in a real human body. He is God in flesh and bone. He has felt everything you are feeling. For real.

Therefore, you are invited to tell Him honestly how it is to be you right now, bereft and confused and whatever you are feeling now:

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our
weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just
as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace
with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us
in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:15-16

Because of who He is, hold on:

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,
Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess.” Hebrews 4:14

He understands our need to have more evidence or clarity, when life is especially unbelievable:

“Now Thomas … one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when
Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord!’

But he said to them, ‘Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my
finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.’

A week later… he said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands.
Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.’

Thomas said to him, ‘My Lord and my God!’” John 20:24-28

And He will meet you where you are. Eventually, you will see Him and know Him so much more intimately:

“Then Job replied to the LORD:
‘I know that you can do all things;
no purpose of yours can be thwarted.’
You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.
You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.’
My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.” Job 42:1-5

God has made Himself known and available to people who were having a hard time with faith and understanding, just like you. Open your heart. Open your eyes. Wait for Him.

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Yesterday, I went to see the Rembrandt and the Face of Jesus exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. What a treat! Now, I’m pondering what I saw, and thinking of you, my grieving friends. Here is how I see the 2 themes, the face of Christ and your grief, connecting.

One of Rembrandt’s favorite themes was the Emmaus story (Luke 13:32). He drew, etched and painted it several times in different ways. In those pictures, he communicated the surprise of the disciples at the moment Jesus revealed himself.

You can see the bread in Jesus’ hands. You can see that the disciples, in that moment, understand this man with them is Jesus. That’s confusing since Jesus had died very recently but is with them right here right now. So they are surprised, delighted, confused and a bit scared at the same time. And you can see it all in the artwork.

I have written before about this story (blog: The Emmaus Hike) of the grieving disciples who, as they walked along to the next town, talked about their loss and grief since their friend and teacher had been murdered. Their whole life had been organized around following this man, now their lives were in total disarray. In addition to the grief, they had the issue of What To Do Now?! Jesus listened and He shared with them insights about the meaning of those events. Still they didn’t know it was Him. But at the table, when He broke the bread for dinner, a service He had performed in their presence so often, they knew Him for who He is. Rembrandt caught the instant their confusion and sorrow turned to recognition and outrageous JOY. Because He lives.

Another engraving in the exhibit is a rendering of this story (identified as a copy by a student of a lost Rembrandt painting) showing the moment after He revealed Himself, when He immediately disappeared! The looks on the faces of the disciples is priceless! It’s just what you’d imagine – surprise and joy mixed with astonishment yet understanding.

I just want to encourage you to be talking to Jesus as you walk along your grief journey. Tell Him your exact feelings and experiences. Ask Him to surprise you by revealing more about Himself to you as He did to the disciples. You are probably experiencing sorrow, confusion, fear. Ask Him to transform those into delight and joy by showing you Himself. Ask Him to show you what all this means! Ask Him what to do now! Note that the disciples “saw” Jesus, in an ordinary everyday act of breaking bread together. Look for Him in the ordinary things of your life too.

Let’s pray together:
Jesus, I am going to walk forward in my grief, as much as I can identify which way is forward and with as much energy as I can find. Just like they did, I’m going to tell you all about my grief struggles. I ask that you walk with me, teaching me. And I ask that you reveal yourself to me, to my heart, as we go along. Thank you for doing this for the grieving disciples so long ago. Amen.

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