Grief is a Chaos of emotion! So said a young pastor whose wife had died. It was not said by a bereaved parent but it certainly describes the grief of parents when a child has died! Chaos. That means surprises, sometimes, and extremes of emotion. Other descriptions bereaved parents have used include: being blindsided or being knocked down by waves of grief. Some of those waves you may know are coming. They are triggered by known sources, the way an earthquake can cause the development of a tsunami. A trigger for a wave of grief could be a date on the calendar, a season of the year, an event such as the first day of school or a family wedding. Other triggers are a sight, a sound or a smell. Some waves of grief are unpredicted and unpredictable. All waves can knock you down. These waves can send your emotions into chaos. You can be sort of stable for a day, then smell something and be sent into a pit of sorrow. A piece of his favorite music can send you over the edge. It’s a chaos of emotion. Light hearted laughter for a moment, immediately followed by tears. Peace disrupted by anxiety and worry. If this describes you, even a little bit, I’m writing this to let you know you are normal. Grief is, in fact, a chaos of emotion. Don’t think you aren’t handling it “properly” if you are feeling like this. No amount of “proper” handling will prevent these waves. Just know that waves will come. In the midst of the chaos, there is One who is not surprised or knocked down by the waves. God is consistent and stable even in this tsunami. He can hold you and keep you through the chaos. My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62: 1-2. Hold onto Him, and when you can’t hold on any longer, He holds onto you. You are safe. You are also normal. Grief is, in fact, chaos. That’s the truth about grief. It’s also true that it will get less intense in a while. Just hold on.
Chaos
Author: Judy Blore (27 Articles)
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Judy is the Director of H*VMI's BASIS ministry. She says, "I have been working in the arena of loss and grief for over 30 years, with parents who have lost a child. My most important teachers have been the parents with whom I have been privileged to work in BASIS, a Christian ministry for bereaved parents. I have certainly taken courses, certificates and seminars. I have even taught a few. But, truthfully, the most important lessons have been in listening to parents, then taking their hurts and concerns to the throne of grace in prayer and listening to the still small voice of God through His Word and His people. I am not a bereaved parent, thankfully. And yet, I have observed and learned some things that are the truth about grief and about where true comfort comes from. I want to share some of these truths with you."
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