Need Help?

April 12th, 2012 - BASIS Comfort
Author: Judy Blore

After he had been betrayed, beaten, mocked; after he had been falsely accused, illegally tried and wrongly convicted, Jesus walked to his own execution. He was made to carry the execution device Himself. Now, this cross was taller than a man and strong enough to hold the full weight of a man. So it was HEAVY!

As he was walking, carrying this physical burden, He was also carrying another burden – the weight of our guilt for our sins and those of all folks in all history. He was willingly going forward to do His Father’s will, to be sacrificed – the innocent for the guilty. As He was walking and carrying, He grew too tired and weak to continue so they recruited help for Him. They told one member of the watching crowd, an African named Simon, to pitch in and carry the cross for Jesus. He did. And so they all made it successfully to the hill top where the execution would take place. (from Mark 15:21)

I wonder how that man felt after Jesus was nailed to that same cross. I wonder how he dealt with his participation in Jesus’ in the execution, even if his was a minor role. I wonder how he felt when he learned of Jesus’ resurrection! He had a front row seat to all this. I wonder. But the point I really want to make is that Jesus needed and accepted help for His journey with that burden.

You are also carrying a burden through your grief journey. Like Jesus, you would probably benefit from help. The soldiers recruited Jesus’ helper. (Jesus also asked for help as He was praying in Gethsemane. His faithful friends loved Him, but fell asleep during prayer. How many times I have done the same thing!) Maybe you have a friend who knows you, who also recruits help for you – but maybe you need to do some of the recruiting yourself. Or, sometimes, a helper may just offer. You should say “yes.” I know it’s hard to accept help for some of us. But if you don’t, you are taking away from that other person the joy of helping. You are making it more difficult for them to follow Christ, who took the role of a servant for His disciples. Your friend wants to serve you. You have to say “yes” to make it possible. Jesus needed help. You can use some now too.

Jesus’ burden was physical and spiritual. Your present grief-burden is also deeply spiritual, and physical and emotional and heavy and long lasting and tiring. Don’t go it alone. Jesus didn’t. If the Son of God, the One who created the world, needed help, don’t disregard your own need. Ask for and be willing to accept help. It’s your Christian duty! Your gift to the body of Christ. And those helpers are God’s gift to you. Be receptive. Be encouraged.

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Caring Ways to Maintain Healthy Relationships

April 10th, 2012 - Care Corner
Author: Deb Clark

There are many positive ways to keep relationships healthy. We will look at just a few.

First, setting realistic boundaries and expectations can keep the relationship on track. In their book Boundaries, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend share that:

Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins leading me to a sense of ownership.

Boundaries need to include how much time you will spend with the other person as well as how much involvement you will have with that person. It involves each person being responsible for himself. Expectations should be realistic as they help to define the depth and intensity of the relationship.

Second, maintaining open communication in your relationships can be critical. Three principles of healthy communication are:

1.  Speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Speaking the truth in love brings unity and stability in our relationships with one another. A key element in expressing the truth with others is to have an understanding of where the other person is coming from. To gain that understanding, we need to learn how to listen effectively to one another.

2.  Expressing anger appropriately (Ephesians 4:26). It is crucial that we have our anger under control when relating to another person. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to help us sort it out; confess it to the Lord and ask for His forgiveness as well as seeking reconciliation with the other person; and channel our anger into something productive by expressing it appropriately.

3. Practicing caring words and attitudes (Ephesians 4:29, 32). Our speech should be edifying and encouraging not just reporting the facts. Express compliments and thankfulness to one another. Good communication takes patience and practice.

Third, praying for each other and with each other will bring your relationship with both God and each other closer together. James 5:16 encourages us to be honest with one another and to bring each other before the throne.  In Galatians 6:2 we are exhorted to carry each other’s burdens.

Finally, keeping each other accountable means forgiving one another and extending an apology when we have wronged another person. (Colossians 3:13) It requires care-fronting or speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).  And accountability is based on loving one another as Christ loves us. (John 13:34)

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JESUS IS RISEN!

April 8th, 2012 - BASIS Comfort
Author: Judy Blore

He is Risen! HE IS RISEN INDEED!

This greeting in many Christian churches summarizes the good news of Easter.He is Risen! HE IS RISEN INDEED!
This greeting in many Christian churches summarizes the good news of Easter. What impact does that have on one who is grieving? Here are just a few scriptures that, I hope, with give you great hope for your grief journey:

Guarantee life beyond the grave:
We have felt that this is not all there is for a long time. Here is proof.

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.… Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:1, 5-8

Jesus is the first one, but many will follow:

But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. I Corinthians 15:20-22

His resurrection gives us Hope:

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. I Thessalonians 4:13-14

Absent from body, present with Lord. Your child is safe in Him:

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, Philippians 1:21-23

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Peter – reconciled

April 5th, 2012 - BASIS Comfort
Author: Judy Blore

As I write, it is Thursday of Easter week. It’s the night of the Passover Jesus celebrated with His disciples. They ate around the table. He instituted what we now celebrate as the Lord ’s Supper, giving the wine and the bread a new significance – to remember Him and what He was about to do for us.

At dinner, Jesus also taught them about future difficulties to come, but they still couldn’t grasp fully the meaning of it. Peter pronounced that he’d follow Jesus anywhere. But, instead of confirming that thought, Jesus predicted Peter’s denial, and loved him anyway. A few hours later, as Jesus is being held and questioned by authorities, Peter does deny that he knows Him. Jesus looks at him sadly. Peter is also sad and brokenhearted.

Jesus dies. Peter thinks I’ve denied my best friend and can’t fix this because he’s dead. Then,… HE IS RISEN! Jesus Lives! Peter is hopeful, yet embarrassed because of how he abandoned his friend. But, later, on the beach, Jesus extends the hand of fellowship. Peter’s denial was a 3 part event. Jesus’ restoration is also in 3 parts! Jesus extends forgiving words and builds a great relationship with Peter, on which the church in all history is built.

In grief, we sometimes give and sometimes we take offense at what someone says or doesn’t say, what they do or don’t do. Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to be forgiven! It’s all available to you. Have you denied Christ in any way?? Have you thought or said something like this: “If that’s the way it is,…” “I can’t believe in a God who does that!” “That’s not the way I would do it if I were God.” These ideas could lead to a sort of denial of God’s sovereignty or of His place in your life. Jesus already has paid a costly price to reconcile with you. He is ready to restore you, even if it’s been years since you said a word to him. He says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

He uses the same words that I’ve highlighted here:

But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Luke 18:16 NIV

You may be weary. You are probably burdened in grief. Jesus says come. He uses the same phrase when invited the kids to come up on His lap. He says His whole kingdom is built with humble, needy people who come like children. Just like with Peter, Jesus wants to reconcile with you for any issues between you and Him. He wants to give you all the blessings of close fellowship. Don’t be afraid to begin that relationship anew even if it has been years.

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