My sister gave me a plaque a few years ago:
“I finally got it all together and forgot where I put it."
We probably all know people who project that they “have it all together." They just seem to have things under control in their lives, even through difficult times. Some people do handle issues of life on more of an even keel than others, or at least it appears so. However, I don’t believe anyone really has “it all together." I guess I am not sure what it means to “have it all together."
When we have experienced the death of a child and we are on our journey of grief there are well meaning people who will have expectations that after a certain period of time we should be handling it better. We should be getting it together again, as if we ever had it all together.
This journey of grief is a new journey for us, and it is like no other journey of life. It is also an unending journey, a journey we never complete in this life.
God does not expect us bereaved parents to get it all together again after a year or two or ten… . Although God does not step in to help us “get over” loss, or finish the grief, He does promise: "When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! … For I am the Lord your God, your Savior." Isaiah 43: 2-3a