Our daughter’s birthday is next week. We plant a tree each year to remember and honor her life. Crystal’s last birthday on earth was eleven years ago. She was thirty-six. A lot has happened in those eleven years. Last month her daughter, Robin, graduated from college and this past weekend Robin was married in a beautiful setting and ceremony. We rejoiced at both occasions; but, unfortunately for us, Crystal was not able to share those wonderful occasions with us in person and that breaks my heart. However, I am reminded of a blog I wrote some time ago. “Glad For A Broken Heart?”
Really! How can a broken heart be a good thing? On the surface that sounds morbid, abnormal, perhaps impossible. Yet, think about it for a moment. As I stood at the graveside of our precious daughter, Crystal, my heart was surely broken; and even though there has been some healing, there is a huge scar and it is still not fixed. My heart still breaks and I have come to realize that is a good thing. I'm not glad that our daughter died. I'm not glad it happened. It has been by far the most painful thing in my life; but think how tragic it would be if my heart was not broken over the death of my daughter. I am glad for the love we shared. I'm glad for the bond that held us together. I am glad for the wonderful memories. I'm glad Crystal came into our family and blessed us so much for thirty-six years, so it's only natural that I should have a broken heart when she is no longer with us. To not feel a deep loss would diminish the value of our relationship.
To love deeply also means we hurt deeply when the one we love is no longer with us. The saying, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is in reference to love between a man and woman when one party does not return that love. In the case of me and my daughter it is not that one party does not return love but that death has brought a separation for the rest of this life. So, even though it hurts and my heart is still not fixed, I'm glad God created Crystal and that she was part of our family. I'd much rather have it this way than to think it was no big deal that my daughter died because there was no strong bond of love. I am glad I loved her deeply and she loved me, even though that's why it hurts so much.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." [John 3:16]. God's love for us is so much stronger than our love for Him or our love for each other.
God understands broken hearts and one day my heart will be completely whole and I will be reunited with my daughter whose new body will be whole! Then we will celebrate endless glorious occasions!!!