Where I live, after a snowfall, it usually melts within a week. But not this year. We have had a weekly snowfall for at least 6 weeks and the ground has been covered all that time. It’s not normal for us.
The other day I was out driving about a half hour before sunset. The sky was grey and the ground was covered with a white blanket. In other words the whole universe was monochrome – grey/white. You could even say it lacked color at all! It was hard to determine where sky and snow-covered field met. Except for the naked tree line.
But in the boring, color-lacking landscape there was just a glimmer of light and color from the sun. It was near sunset and on the almost indiscernible horizon there was just the barest hint of pink and yellow. But in that colorlessness, this bare glimmer, this molecule of light was really present. It was strikingly beautiful because it was so unique in that landscape. This littlest bit of light and color actually made a big difference in my heart. It gave birth to hope. Hope that spring will come. Hope that possibly the sun is still out there above the clouds. Hope.
Grief can be like that. Life is not normal. The landscape is just one color – the color of pain and heartache. This feeling can go on for weeks and months. Bereaved parents tell me they can get quite tired of this feeling. The heaviness of it can get boring! It can be hard to distinguish any markers in the landscape of your grief that indicate progress. But just like those molecules of pink and yellow light, there are signs for you too. Signs that God is present and that He cares for you.
What signs have you noticed? Someone sent a card that said the right thing for that day. You saw a beautiful sunset yourself and felt the slightest delight in it. Your heard or read a story that gave a glimmer of hope to your heart. A bit of music or an old hymn that you’ve sung often, but hadn’t noticed the words that now are giving you a barest glimmer of hope. God is still present, though maybe masked by clouds. The Lord, true to His word, does care for you and your heart ache.
If you haven’t noticed even one molecule of hope shining in the landscape of your grief, can you just believe that all the bereaved parents who have gone before you have found hope again. Can you hold on just because others can testify that the Lord sent His light into their pain? He is still present above the clouds. You may have a hard time seeing Him now. He will send you little glimmers of light one molecule at a time. I can say this because He has promised never to leave or forsake you.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but have the light of life.” John 8:12
“For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.” Psalm 36:9 (check the context here, Psalm 36:5-10 for more hope)