The loss of a loved one is not a single loss.
The death of a child would be enough to cope with in the inevitable journey of grief, but such a loss also brings with it other losses. The child you love is gone, but in addition, there can be the loss of family relationships, the loss of finances, the loss of a job or perhaps even the loss of your home.
You may have to consider moving or altering your future plans. So, the loss of structure and stability become real issues to deal with, and sorting out which loss you are dealing with at a particular moment may be confusing.
What we are confronted with after a horrific loss, such as the loss of a child, is that life for us will never be the same. Many things change as a result of that one deep loss. It usually takes a while to realize the many changes that occur. Understanding that there are multiple losses and changes may seem overwhelming at times. Sometimes this can paralyze us in coping with them. Trying to prioritize the various challenges we now face can help. Some issues will require more immediate action. Others will allow for more time to deal with them.
Taking things “One Day at a Time” can be an oversimplification; but, in general, it is good counsel. There is no smooth and easy road on our grief journey; but God promises comfort, wisdom and guidance on a daily basis in our journey.
It has been more than ten years since our daughter, Crystal, died from leukemia. Our lives have certainly changed since our great loss. Not having Crystal with us now still effects our lives as a family. Crystal’s daughter, Robin, will graduate from college and is engaged to be married. Crystal won’t be there in person to celebrate those special occasions with us. If you are a bereaved parent you have your own unique changes you have to face.
Even though life is different and will never be the same as it was, I can testify that God is faithful, for He has provided comfort and strength to go on with the new “normal” of our lives. May God help you in your journey today to cope with the “extra” losses and changes in your life.