Another topic from an article on Mayo clinic website (mayoclinic.com), Dealing with grief: Confronting painful emotions, by Dr. Edward Creagan. Acknowledge your pain. If you don't face your grief, your wounds might never quite go away. Accept that the pain you're feeling is part of dealing with grief and moving toward a state of healing and acceptance.*
*Acceptance does not mean “acceptable.” It means that you come to a point when you accept that this happened and this is the world in which you live. You conclude that you will find a way to live in it. But it’s not that you begin to think it is acceptable that she died or that she died at such an age or in that terrifying way. (jb’s comments on “acceptance”)
This paragraph reminds me of the wounds of another: “by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:3) This is speaking of Jesus’ crucifixion, of course, and events that surrounded that horrible day. The Isaiah passage says that he was pierced and crushed. We also know from New Testament accounts that He was mocked, scratched by thorns, spat upon, not to mention the nails through his own flesh. He certainly was wounded violently and in many ways. I’m not sure how the wounds of one person help bring healing to the wounds of another – like a grieving parent. Can it be that His wounds let us know He has experienced deep pain, like you have? Can it be that His wounds basically purchase for us sinners an open door into heaven’s courts? Yes, all of that and probably more. I’ll have to meditate on this some more because I think there is more healing truth in the crucifixion than I’ve stated so far.
In his first letter, Peter mentions this same passage, but modifies it slightly, to say our healing has been accomplished! “…by his wounds you have been healed.” (I Peter 2:24) Like Jesus said from the cross: "It is finished."
These passages also remind me of my grandfather. He had a wound in his side that didn’t heal for many years. He dressed his seeping wound daily with fresh gauze and tape. Daily. Then one day it closed and he celebrated. Yea! No more seeping. Nor more tape and gauze. But the problem was that it hadn’t healed, it just closed. So, inside his body infectious poison built up. This actually was the cause of his death. It’s an example to me that healing is more important than closing the wound! What happens on the inside is more important than how things appear.
All that’s needed for your healing has already been prepared and paid for. It’s ready for you to receive it as your own. It does take time to receive, apply and to BE healed but it’s ready. Be patient with yourself, but trust that what Christ did at Easter for your healing is really effective for it. And heal from the inside out, not pretending for the sake of your public appearance, but allowing healing to take place little by little. Inside outward.