As I am writing, it is September 11th. A very significant date in our history, when everything changed. But you also have had another more personal day when really EVERY thing changed. Whether your child died before THAT 9-11 or since then, your world was rocked at least as much. How are you doing now? The nation is taking its vital signs, so to speak. On many news outlets this morning, they were talking about THAT 9-11 and all that’s happened since. Some of the talking heads this morning were mentioning “where they were” and “how things have changed.” You may also be taking your vital signs. What were you and your loved one doing then? Thinking that way probably highlights that she or he is no longer here! Maybe your child had not been born yet. He or she was born, lived, grew, delighted your heart, and also died, since the big public 9-11. Their whole life happened between now and then! Wow.
Grief is like that. Current events intersect with grief and bring on waves of feelings. These feelings can be profoundly painful or just fleeting moments when you feel as if someone put pressure on your sore spot of grief. Sometimes those intersections bring moments when you reflect on the special characteristics of your beloved child. And you give thanks to their Creator.
What did we as a culture learn from 9-11? Perseverance. Persistence, buildings can rise from the debris. Transformation. Strength in sharing the burden. What have you been learning out of the death of your child? The same perseverance but with a deeper and more personal core. You have probably been transformed since their death. I hope you have experienced how sharing helps bear the burden and produce a strength because of this team work. I pray you will be seeing new things rising from the debris of loss and grief.
In the Twenty-third Psalm, David speaks of restoration. “He restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:3a, NIV) Note the One who does this work of restoration: God does. I pray His work of restoring your own soul will go forward with healing for your heart.