Sunshine After Rain

Bill and Gloria Gaither have written many songs that touch human experience, especially as it relates to how God interacts with us. The verse below is from their song, “Joy Comes in The Morning”

 “If you’ve knelt beside the rubble of an aching broken heart

When the things you gave your life to fell apart

You’re not the first to be acquainted with sorrow, grief or pain

But the Master promised sunshine after rain.”

If you have experienced the death of a child you can identify with “the rubble of an aching broken heart.”

Most likely you have also felt at least a part of your life was falling apart.  All of these emotions or experiences are part of the human condition.  That verse goes on to remind us that we are “not the first to be acquainted with sorrow, grief or pain.” How true that is.

We can trace that back to the very first parents, Adam and Eve.  Their first born son, Cain, killed their second born son, Able. Adam and Eve had to deal with the grief of losing a son but also the pain of having their other son be the murderer of his brother.

BASIS exists because parents still “kneel beside the rubble of an aching broken heart.” My wife and I have knelt with broken hearts that seemed like the rubble, or broken pieces of our hearts could never mend. Broken hearts can mend but never without a scar, but scars are a testament of healing.

Jesus was crucified and buried in a tomb and then rose from the dead, but even after His resurrection He still had the scars.

The last line of the verse above says the “the Master promised sunshine after rain.”  Last night we had snow and high wind, but today the sun is shining.  Years after the death of our daughter, Crystal, our hearts still ache, but we have also experienced some joys…the joys of family and friends, of laughter and fellowship, of comfort and comforting.

We don’t get over our sorrow and grief, but we are able to journey through it with the help of God, family and friends. 

In the chorus of the song referred to above it admonishes us to, “Hold on my child, joy comes in the morning.  Weeping only lasts for the night.”  In this life, that night continues off and on; but for the one who has the abiding presence of the Lord in his or her life we can hold on until that night is finally over and the dawn of a new day, an everlasting day where there is no darkness, no sorrow, no pain breaks forth in all its brilliance and glory.

At BASIS we count it a privilege to walk with you through your journey of grief.

I Hold In My Heart

- By Lisa Kauffman (Adam stillborn at 6 months)

I hold in my heart pain

Because I’ve been left to

grieve for those who have

gone before me-

my baby and my mom.

I hold in my heart joy

Because of the blessings

in my life:

a loving husband,

two other children,

smiles, friendships and laughter.

I hold in my heart hope

Because of Jesus’ work in

the world and in me-

salvation, restoration,

comfort, and peace.

I hold in my heart brokenness and trust in eternal life.

It is a mystery that both

exists in the same wounded soul.

It is by grace that God is

gently changing my

brokenness into something

eternal and forever beautiful-

a reflection of His life and

work in me.

I am held in His heart:

a child molded by love and pain,

a tribute to His grace,

and I offer my broken

heart to Him.

Heal, comfort, recreate.

Guildelines for Dealing with Grieving Parents

Things That Heal

Through Words

• “I can’t begin to understand.”
• “I’m so sorry.  I can’t imagine how much you hurt.”
• “I really care about your heartache.”

Through Actions

• Giving freedom for tears
• Giving freedom for anger and questions…even about God
• Touching appropriately
• Saying nothing rather than saying the wrong thing
• Sending cards - add personal note
• Giving freedom for talking about their loss
• Placing no restrictions on the time of the grief process
• Sending cards on birthdays, anniversaries or any special occasion that may be especially difficult for the bereaved person

Things That Hurt

• “It’s time to get on with your life.”
• “I know just how you feel.”
• “Don’t you think you have grieved long enough?”
• Avoiding the individual because you don’t know what to say
• Offering advice
• Give pat answers
• Interpret sadness/depression as weakness or lack of faith
• “You’re young. You can have other children.”
• Avoid mentioning the deceased’s name
• “If only…”
• Quoting Romans 8:28 -  “God is in everything working for our good...”…doesn’t mean He causes everything. It can be difficult for a grieving person to hear this verse at the wrong time. Understand the context of the verse.  It will help you use it appropriately in the future.

Ask God to give you wisdom and a caring heart.

Winter and Grief

Winter reminds me that things can be both good and bad; take snow for instance.  It provides pleasure for children to play in and make snowmen, and lots of children and adults have great fun skiing. Yet snow causes accidents, damaging vehicles and causing injury and even death to many people each year.  Then there are avalanches which destroy property and injure and kill people.

 Now, what does all this have to do with grief?  Well, life brings a variety of experiences: some good, some bad. However, God can take even the worst things and bring some good.  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

 In an earlier verse the Apostle Paul also says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worthy compared with the glory that will be revealed in us.”  Romans 8:18. Here Paul is not suggesting that your trouble, or grief, is not bad.  Instead, he is encouraging us to look at the splendor that is waiting for believers.  Paul also reminds us that God’s blessings are not only in the future, but that God is also, “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our trouble.”  II Corinthians 1:3-4

 I pray that you may be comforted today by the “Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.”  He may even use this blog to do that.

The Plan of the Master Weaver

"My life is but a weaving between the Lord and me,

I may not choose the colors,

He knows what they should be,

For He can view the pattern upon the upper side,

While I can see it only on this, the underside

Sometimes He weaveth sorrow, which seemeth strange to me,

But I will trust His judgment, and work on faithfully,

‘Tis He who fills the shuttle, and He knows what is best,

So I shall weave in earnest, leaving to Him the rest

Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly

Shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why -

The dark threads are as needed in the Weaver’s skillful hand

As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned."

We all have questions of “why” that we want to know the answers to. We want to know why the sorrow, why the death of our loved one. The Master Weaver is the one who can turn our deepest pain and struggle into something that can be used for His Glory and for good. It is only by His Grace that we can trust Him and the pattern He has planned for our life. Today I pray for that Grace for each family who is hurting. Our prayers are with you.

Starting Another Year on Our Grief Journey

Well, we have started a new year and if you are like me you probably wonder how we got here so fast.  As we look back over last year we may remember things we wished we did not have to experience; but we probably had some unexpected joys that came our way, also.

The journey of grief is not predictable.  People often ask grieving parents how they are doing.  It’s not an easy question to answer, is it?  How we are doing changes from week to week, from day to day, even from moment to moment.

In this journey of grief that takes us through the dark world of pain and sorrow there are things that we can’t understand, but there are things we learn as we go along, and although each one’s grief is different, we share a common bond that makes it possible for us to help each other by sharing our experiences.

As Director of BASIS, a ministry to bereaved parents, I am involved in trying to provide comfort, support, and helpful resources to grieving parents. In this process I have also had the privilege to listen to the stories of many grieving parents and I have been encouraged and blessed by them.

The truth of St Francis’s prayer that “it is in giving we receive” has been proven to me again and again.  That God can take tragedy and work in it to bring something good continues to inspire me.  It was not good that my daughter got leukemia and died, but God has taken something bad and used it to minister to others which at the same time ministers to me.

In this new year let me encourage you in your grief to seek out grieving people and walk with them in their grief journey.  You will help them and they will help you.

“Praise be to the  God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I AM

David Crowder has a song titled, “I AM.”  As I was thinking about what to write for today’s blog, my heart went to all the families who are grieving the loss of a child or loved one.  Christmas is crucial to our Hope.  Jesus is our Hope.  But, yet this time of year can be very painful for people who are grieving.  So today, with Christmas less than a week away I pray that this song ministers to your heart and that you feel Jesus holding on to you. 

There's no space that His love can't reach.

There's no place where we can't find peace.

There's no end to Amazing Grace. 

Take me in with your arms spread wide.

Take me in like an orphan child.

Never let go, never leave my side.

I am, Holding on to You. I am, Holding on to You.

In the middle of the storm, I am Holding on, I am. (repeat)

Love like this, Oh my God to find!

I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!

Love like this sets our hearts on fire!

I am, Holding on to You. I am, Holding on to You.

In the middle of the storm, I am Holding on, I am. (repeat)

This is my Resurrection Song.

This is my Hallelujah Come.

This is why to You I run.

This is my Resurrection Song.

This is my Hallelujah Come.

This is why to You I run.

There's no space that His love can't reach.

There's no place that we can't find peace.

There's no end to Amazing Grace.

I am, Holding on to You. I am, Holding on to You.

In the middle of the storm, I am Holding on, I am. (repeat)

Are You Going Through Difficult Waters?

Sometimes when we are going through difficult things we may feel alone. Friends and family may be with us for a time but they have their lives and issues to deal with too. At the time of a death in the family there usually are people around us from our family, from our circle of friends, and from our church family. As time goes by not many, if any, of those people can stay close to us as we deal with the ongoing grief.

Grief can seem to engulf us at times and threaten to destroy us. If one of your children has died you probably know what I am talking about. At times we can't see or feel how we can go on, but we can.

I found a great promise from God found in the book of Isaiah.

“When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown.” Isaiah 43:2

Though we may at times seem to 'drown' in our sorrow, grief and pain; notice the word 'through' in this Scripture. First, God does not promise to keep us from deep waters or rivers of difficulty. Second, nor does He tell us we will be destroyed. Third, and most important, He indicates not only will we go 'through', but He will go through with us and promises us that we will not 'drown'. When you go through something it means you come out the other side.

When I was a child they built a highway across part of our small farm, but because there was a small stream that flowed at that point they put in a culvert under the road so the water could flow through. The pipe was big enough for me and my brother to crawl through. The water was usually pretty low so we could crawl through to our field on the other side of the road.  It was great fun.  Recently I looked at that pipe and wondered how I ever was able to crawl through that small pipe. When we look back on our rivers of difficulty we may also wonder how we ever got through.

Amazingly, every time I crawled 'through' the pipe I came out on the other side! Every time you go 'through' those rivers of difficulty, because He goes with you, you will come out on the other side. Does that mean everything will be sunny and wonderful? No, but we can go on living and even be a blessing to others going through their rivers of difficulty.

As long as we live in this life the rivers of difficulty will be there. Sometimes the water is raging, sometimes it is more calm, but nothing can destroy us and nothing can separate us from our relationship with the Lord!

“Even when walking through the dark valley of death I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, guarding, guiding all the way.” Psalm 3:4

Let There Be...

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I’m currently doing a study in Genesis. It talks about how God created the heavens and the earth, the stars and the moon, the animals and man. God said, “Let there be light, and there was light.” Genesis 1:3

As I read through Genesis and study God’s word I’m reminded that God can say one word and things can be created, birthed or changed. He speaks and things happen.

When life seems chaotic, when our days feel overwhelmed with pain from grief and mourning - today, I hear God speaking “let there be HOPE” into His people’s hearts.

Today, my prayer is that you hear His whisper, that you feel him breathing “the breath of life” and HOPE into your spirit. New mercies every day is what He has promised. Let’s claim those mercies.

Father, thank you for breathing life into us. Thank you for being present in our lives, even in the midst of our brokenness and hurt. Thank you for the light in the darkness. Speak into our lives and let there be HOPE.

She Must Have Done Something Wrong

Why would anyone say that of a mother who had just had her small child hit by a car and killed? At a recent support group meeting a bereaved mother shared with us that at her church that was the comment made by one woman to another woman, implying that God must have allowed her daughter to die in an accident because God was punishing the mother because she must have done something wrong.

NO! NO! NO! That is not the way God operates, but where does that idea come from? I think it partly comes from the misconception that if we are a believer then our lives should run smoothly and if trouble, or tragedy  occur it must be because we are not living right. That way of thinking is a misconception of the Christian life.

Jesus said about His Father in heaven: “He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:45) We live in a fallen world where bad things happen to good people, even people who are faithfully serving God. Look at the disciples. Ten out of the twelve were martyred. They were surely serving the Lord faithfully and effectively, yet they were killed. That was not only a loss of their lives but a great loss to their family and friends.

I don't know why God intervenes sometimes to heal or prevent tragedy and not at other times. I do know that even those God heals eventually die. However, we also know that this life is not the end. For believers, eternal life is promised in a place free from all heartache, sorrow and pain. In the meantime, God has promised His presence, grace, comfort and strength. I find the words of the following song an encouragement:

*“God hath not promised skies always blue,

flower strewn pathways all our lives through;

God hath not promised sun without rain,

joy without sorrow, peace without pain,

But God hath promised strength for the day,

rest for the labor, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help form above,

unfailing sympathy, undying love.”

*"God Hath Not Promised" Annie J. Flint, 1919

Someone Just To Be There

When we are grieving we don't need theological explanations or simplistic answers like, "God's in control."  Knowing God is ultimately in control doesn't help me cope with my loss and heal my broken heart today.  Most times we don't need to hear from someone else as much as we may need for someone just to hear from us and listen to how we are feeling. Most of the time all we may want is their presence, not their wisdom or advice. A friend of mine who now works in hospice care was a pastor for quite a few years.  He shared an experience he had as a pastor when one of his church members died.  He was a relatively young pastor and went to visit the family at their home in their time of grief.  He said he sat there with them and couldn't think of much to say.  He spent a few hours there.  He shed some tears with them but kept trying to think of what else to say to help and comfort them.  Finally he had to excuse himself because he had another appointment.  He said he went out on the porch and broke down, feeling like a failure as a pastor, because he couldn't come up with the "appropriate" things to say.

My friend said that eventually he moved on to another ministry but occasionally would see this family. Even years later when he would meet up with the family they would mention how much they appreciated his visit in their time of grief.  It was his presence and his tears that made all the difference, not his words.

When someone does talk to us it is comforting to hear them mention our loved one's name and share thoughts and memories about them. This may bring tears and even some pain, but at the same time, we will find it comforting and healing.

Death Is Not The End

It's been said that the only certainties of life are "death and taxes".  Death still makes house calls but for the Christian death is the door that leads to real life.  When terminal illness is the diagnosis we hope and pray for a miracle. That's what we did when our daughter, Crystal, was diagnosed with leukemia.  We knew God had healed people in the past, in fact, He even raised some from the dead.  In the Bible, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead but eventually he died again...two funerals for the same person? In the end death is not our enemy.  Robert Wise reminds us that for the Christian, "Death is the greatest  miracle of all."*  Crystal had a battle with leukemia.  Many would conclude that she fought hard but in the end leukemia won.  They would be wrong, for in her  battle with leukemia, Crystal definitely won.  She won first, because leukemia did not destroy her faith and her attitude.  More importantly, she also won because Jesus already won the victory over death and shared that victory with her, as He does with all believers, and as Robert Wise reminds us, "The last battle is the only one that really maters."**

That is certainly good news, but grief is still a fact of live.  It cannot be avoided, but it need not be our enemy.  Grief is a gift from God to help us deal with our deep sorrow.  In grief, though we may have sorrow, we also are reminded of the precious memories of the past.  Grief also helps us cope with the present and even prepare us for whatever lies in the future.

"Death has been swallowed up in victory....thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." I Corinthians 15:54-57

*Robert Wise, "When There Is No Miracle", Ventura, CA:Regal Books, 1977 (1983 printing), 164

**Ibid, 48

Supporting Children at a Funeral

Many families wonder if it is appropriate for children to attend a loved one's funeral. Every family is unique and every loss comes with its own set of circumstances that surround the death therefore, I believe it to be an individual family decision. Below are a few ways to support children before and during a funeral...

1.) Children cope better when they are prepared. Adults can help children prepare by explaining things they may see. For example: people may be crying or may be wearing black, people may tell nice stories about the person who died, etc. It is helpful for children to be prepared for the funeral, especially if seeing the body. For example, one can say: when someone dies their body stops working, their heart stops beating, their lungs stop working and they do not need to eat or drink. One can explain that the body is a shell and when someone dies their whole body is buried in something called a casket because you do not need your body anymore. For young children 2-5 years old it is important to explain that this will be the the last time they see the person who died because children at this stage of development do not understand the finality of death. This may need to be repeated to young children several times as they may ask when they will see the person who died. Then you can explain that their soul goes to Heaven if they have given their life to Jesus. I love the C.S. Lewis quote, “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”

2.) If children attend a funeral, many families have found it helpful to have an adult that is removed from the situation that can attend to the needs of the children at the funeral. For example, to take a break from the funeral to draw, play, have a snack or take a walk outside.

3.) Keep in mind that funerals only happen once, so children and teens have one chance to attend a loved one’s funeral to say goodbye and to be with the entire family. Some children may want to attend and some may not. Either decision is okay. In my experience, I have heard children say they wish they would have been allowed to attend their loved one’s funeral.

Again, every situation is different and what may work for one family may not for another family.  Praying for wisdom and guidance for families currently in a situation where children have experienced the death of a loved one and may be attending a funeral. May the Lord's presence and comfort be with you.

Do You Have a Life Jacket?

I recently was reminded of a story about a speed boat driver who, having survived a racing accident, described what happened.  He said that he had been at near top speed when his boat veered slightly and hit a wave at a dangerous angle.  The combined force of his speed and the size and angle of the wave sent the boat spinning crazily into the air.  He was thrown from his seat and propelled deeply into the water - so deep, in fact, that he had no idea which direction the surface was. He literally didn't know which way was up. He remained calm and waited for the buoyancy of his life jacket to begin pulling him up.  Once he discovered which way was up, he could swim to the surface. Sometimes we find ourselves in a crisis of surrounding circumstances, too deeply immersed in our problems to know which way is up.  When we are grieving we have similar experiences.  When this happens we too must try to pause and wait for God's gentle tug to  pull us in the right direction.

Our life jacket" may be other family members, Scripture, the Holy Spirit, a friend, another grieving person.  They may help us to recognize our dependence on God.  We really do need each other and God uses others to provide the tug we may need at times.  That means we too can be the "tug" that someone else needs and "tug" rhymes with "hug," so maybe that tug may sometimes be as simple as a "hug" for a hurting person.

As God said to Joshua many, many years ago, "As I was with Moses, so I will be with you: I will never leave you nor for sake you." Joshua 1:5

Precious Memories

Recently as I was working on another project the old gospel song, “Precious Memories” came to mind. God made us so that we could have memories and memories can be wonderful blessings. They also can be painful. Often our memories are a combination of the two types.

When we grieve the loss of a loved one the memories that come in the early period of grief most likely are ones that cause us pain. These memories may cause us to miss our loved one more even as we may have happy memories but realize we can never have those happy times with our loved one again. So, even though the memory may initially be a pleasant one we usually don't want to dwell on the memory too long because it quickly turns to a painful experience.

What do we do about this? Put away the picture albums, or the things that remind us of our loved one?  No, I have found that as time goes by I can hold those memories longer, even though they may still bring tears and sadness,if we are fortunate to be able to share some of them with family and friends they can bring more comfort then pain.

This is where support groups can be a valuable help in our journey of grief. Writing stories of our daughter and sharing them with others has helped the healing process in my journey of grief. I don't know who may be reading this blog, but if you are a grieving parent I would wish we could share sometime together. I could tell you some of my “precious memories” of our daughter and I would love to hear the “precious memories of your loved one..

Jesus shared with His disciples that, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 3:15. I think Jesus was talking about more than putting our physical life on the line for someone but that true love causes us to give of ourselves to others, to be there for another hurting person, to listen to their “precious memories”.

If you and I may not be able to meet and share those “precious memories” of our loved ones, I pray that you might find someone this week you can listen to and also have them listen to you. God bless!

Comfort Through Laughter?

Today we had a picnic for bereaved parents. We had good weather, good food and great fellowship. We enjoyed being together. We wished the circumstances that brought us together were different. The death of a child as the common bond is not one that anyone would wish for. This bond brought us together from different backgrounds, circumstances, and locations.

One would expect such a gathering would be a rather somber occasion. There was some sadness and some tears, of course, but there was also a lot of laughter and fun and enjoyment of the day together.

The laughter did not help us put the tragedy of experiencing the death of a child “behind us”. Bereaved parents know nothing puts that “behind them” or enables us to just “move on”. It is not something we “get over”. However, God enables us to move ahead even with our sorrow and grief.

Some might think that everybody at the picnic has now gone home after an enjoyable day only to pick up the sorrow, grief and hurt. It is true that such a time is a welcome break from pressing grief and sorrow, but I would suggest that that is not a complete picture of what happened today.

Someone at the picnic reminded us of a comment they had heard describing laughter as a”physical sign of hope.” Yes, it is one day at a time, yet we are linked to the past and look to the future. The past contains both precious and unpleasant memories, even very painful memories. We can not change the past and we don't know what the future holds. This reminds me of the words of a song, “Yesterday's gone and tomorrow may never come, but we have this moment today.”*

At the picnic we took advantage of “today'. We embraced it. We enjoyed it with others who could at the same time share our sense of sorrow and pain over the loss of a child. Having fun and laughing gave rise to new hope for strength and grace for another day.

As I reflect on this day I am grateful for my friends who came to laugh with me and enjoy my company as I did theirs. I know God understands but it helps me when He sends others who understand. Today, probably without realizing it, we lived out the Scripture,

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” II Corinthians 1:3-4

Now, the surprising thing is that God makes comfort possible not only through tears but also through laughter.     Isn't that neat?          Praise God!

*"We Have This Moment" by Bill and Gloria Gaither

The God Who Carries

In the Old Testament book of Isaiah, chapter 46, the Babylonians are under siege and they turned to their gods, Bel and Nebo for help. To avoid total defeat they retreated carrying their gods with them.  But the dead weight of the idols dragged in slow moving carts by plodding beasts would become a burden for the Babylonians.  Instead of their gods saving them, the gods would become a major factor in their defeat. We may not have gods made of gold or silver but anything we place first in our lives becomes our god, be it money, pleasure, power, success, position, etc. These false gods can drag us down just as Bel and Nebo did.

Bel and Nebo had to be carried everywhere.  Picture it: "Be careful with those gods...don't drop them.  We can't afford to have a broken god."  Is our God that fragile? He is not!  He comes to our aid, not us to his.  Bel and Nebo had to be carried everywhere.  Our God is everywhere.  He carries us.  "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."  Psalm 55:22.

Today you can lean upon the "God Who Carries".  He is the true and living God, the same yesterday, today and forever.  Be encouraged by God's Word: "I am God, there is no other.  I am  God, and there is none like me."  Isaiah 46: 9.  Remember this as you cope with your grief.

A boat capsized and the person in the boat began to swim for shore but became exhausted still a mile from shore.  He finally gave up and when he did his feet touched bottom.  He was over a sand a bar.  He had been swimming furiously and struggling for a long time to keep afloat in water up to his chest, when all he had to do was put his feet down and stand.  My friend, "underneath are the everlasting arms"  He is the "God Who Carries!"

A Lesson From Geese

As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird following. By flying in a V formation the whole flock adds 71% more flying range than if each bird flew alone.

People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another. Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to fly alone, and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front.

If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those who are headed where we want to go. The geese in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. We need to make sure our honking from behind is encouraging and not something less helpful.

When a goose gets sick or wounded, two geese drop out of formation and follow him down to help and protect him. They stay with him until he is able to fly again. Then they launch out on their own with another formation or to catch up with their flock.

If we have as much sense as the geese, we’ll stand by each other like that.

By Milton Olson

This is community and a great example of how and why BASIS support groups work. People who have had a child die come together with their own story. Some parents may be further along in their grief. Some parents’s grief is almost debilitating. But, they are there for one another. Listening, being present, praying and encouraging one another.

If you know a grieving parent, invite them to one of our BASIS support groups. As always we are praying for you.

Which Way Is Up?

In the movie, "The Poseidon Adventure", the ocean liner, S.S. Poseidon is on the open sea when a huge storm comes up.  Lights go out, smoke pours into rooms and amid all the confusion and problems the ship flips over.  Because air is trapped inside the ship it floats, but upside down.  In the confusion the passengers can't figure out what is really going on.  They scramble to get out, most following steps to the top deck.  The problem is, the  top deck is now the bottom deck  under 100 feet of water.  In trying to get to what they still perceived was the top of the ship, they drowned. The only survivors are the few who do what does not make sense.  They do the opposite of what everyone else is doing and climb up into the belly of the ship until they reach the hulk (the bottom), which is now at the top.  Rescuers hear them banging and cut a hole in the hulk and free them.

In life it's as if God turns the ship over and the only way for us to find freedom is to choose what does not make sense--the only way to get to the top is to go to the bottom.  The way to save your life is to lose it.  The way to receive strength is to acknowledge our weakness.  The way to receive is to give. There are things we encounter in life that we are really not equipped to handle ourselves.  That's why we need each other and we need God.

God brings other people into our lives to encourage and help us and He provides His Spirit to dwell in us to strengthen, guide and comfort us.  This is God's plan.  When life has you down so that you don't seem to know which way is up;  trust  God!  Psalm 20:7 declares, "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."  It may not be chariots and horses in our day but if our trust is in God we can find our way up.  Our grief may not disappear but it will not drown us!

Thirty-six Years Doesn't Seem Enough

That was my thought after our daughter, Crystal, died from leukemia at age thirty-six.  But on further reflection the Lord helped me to see things from a little different perspective.  It doesn't answer the question "Why?'  It doesn't lessen the loss, nor take away the pain of living life without our precious daughter. What God showed me may not help you because your circumstances of grief may be much different, but I pray that someone may be helped by relating to my experience.  This is what I believe God helped me to see:

Thirty-six years doesn't seem enough....

• Until you remember, Jesus had only thirty-three years on earth.
• Until you remember how special those thirty-six years were.
• Until you remember, some people seem to complete their mission and purpose quicker than others.
• Until you remember the legacy of her husband, Dave and children Robin and Jeffrey.
• Until you remember Crystal is now with the Lord forever.
• Until you remember how many lives she touched in a beautiful way.
• Until you remember you will see her again and then forever!